MINNEAPOLIS in technicolor… Part Uno

So one thing I’m noticing as we circle the nation is that many of our hosts live in a cooperative living situation.  Meaning, there are grown folks living in houses together (4-8 at a time), sharing household responsibilities.  So far, none of the homes we’ve been to have had children.  Having lived in a boarding situation for five years, then to college and living with more folks I was done with the communal living for a while.  After living alone for 5 years now, I’m almost considering the benefits of this type of living.  Especially if I had kids! (wink)

I digress…  the fotos.  Minneapolis.  The house.  Picking the veggies for dinner.  The dinner.  Filling out absentee ballot applications. The community.

If I’d been told all that I’d have to endure physically on the tour, I probably wouldn’t have gone on it.  And that’d be a shame.  On top of that, so many political, cultural, social and ideological differences have come up amongst the few of us on the tour bus that there have been times I questioned my ability to relate at all – “Hell,” I thought, “I am not even remotely interested in living in the kinda world they seem to want!”  “How contradictory is it that I be a part of this mission?!”

I spent one solid conversation with him, in the early part of the tour, complaining, doubting, cursing myself… In this conversation, nearing the end of the tour, my heart spoke.

Naima and Alixa (Climbing PoeTree) are living breathing expressions of Faith and Love – literally.  I haven’t met very many people whose values are daily practices.  And just as they are offering themselves as examples of that possibility for me, I am their witness.  I believe it is my responsibility in this particular life experience to bear witness to how people can spread seeds of love and faith - building forests of immoveable, interlocked, supportive oak trees.  After this tour I will, with newfound faith and unmatched assuredness, be able to profess my promise that ANYTHING is possible on mountaintops, stages, desktops, and subway platforms.

And just as I am finally making peace with my choice to abandon all that I knew and go on this crazy national tour (4 stops before the end), I also am able to heal a long standing wound that was created in arguably the most important relationship in my adult life.  It was a converging of conversations, moments, book excerpts, and longing that brought on the overwhelming desire to shore up that place I’d held open for anger, pain, jealousy, and distrust to dock.

So I text Him, for the first time with nothing but love in my heart.  And He text me back.

Without needing to go into detail, I can finally say that I am free to love again.

Hurricanes, floods, earthquakes, tornadoes, cyclones, typhoons, fires, droughts… these things remind us to connect, share, love, and treasure.  This tour has been my natural disaster – offering pain and solace, fright and courage, damage and security, loss and unbelievable contributions.  I cannot fathom how much I have transformed.  I hope everyone is around to see me shake off cocoon remnants and spread my beautifully marked wings, fluttering to an unknown new paradise.

Ashe!

Naima and Alixa are led in their lives by coincidence, or signs, that demonstrates when they are moving with the guidance of something much bigger than their “plans”.  That spiritual yellow brick road has been re-revealed to me.  And it’s always so exciting when you hear something, it is repeated in a billboard, then again in a magazine article, then again in a facebook status update, then again in a K’Naan song, then again on a t-shirt of a random person in the audience at a Hurricane Season show.  It makes your breath catch for a moment, the corners of your mouth creep slowly, slowly toward your ears, your head feels pulled to the sky.  And you want to feel that way always.

It’s even more special when you witness it happen with others - a shared moment of magic.  Like the time the crew was stuck between Portland and Arcata and Sugarcube wouldn’t start.  Pippi had been working on it for nearly an hour.  I had been sleeping on the bus, oblivious to our breakdown.  Alixa was holding the flashlight and offering ideas as to possible solutions; the rest of the crew was standing in the rest stop picnic area.  Pippi was getting visibly exhausted starting and restarting the bus, attempting to have it turn over.  Alixa asked me to pray.  I said a silent prayer that went something like, “Yo!  Sun!  I’m rolling with two fairies so I know you ain’t gon’ have us out here like this.  Let’s get it poppin!”  Just as Pippi begins sharing her disbelief, that baby purred awake!  Alixa and I were like, “Holy sh*t!”  It was as if All That Is was saying, “Ahhhh, shut up Lindsay and let me show you what I can do you non-believer!” right on cue.

Or when we were guided by Esther (an enchanted being if I’ve ever met one) in Boulder Creek, California to go meet Jayson at the Big Sur Spirit Gardens.  I swear this white dude was blessed by the heavens with this extraordinary power to make all around him peaceful.  While there we were all clear that we were there to bear witness to Alixa meeting her next spiritual guide.

What a blessing to participate in such wonder.  And I don’t even know how many people have approached Alixa and Naima after shows all over the world telling them how a life has been changed forever.  Pretty powerful stuff.

It is all intensifying as I get closer to and through Thanksgiving.  For many years I have made a point to fast and go into a form of meditation on and around this day.  My connection to my indigenous blood line is sadly limited to this time every year when I immerse my mind, body, and spirit into a state of reflection, healing, and love.

And here we are, the day before Thanksgiving.  My will is always tested, but my soul is always full.  And this year’s holiday presents a whole new element - the unsettled spirits of New Orleans.  It was a sleepless night last night as I was washed over by their memories.

Tonight is the show.  I pray that the message of love provides audience members in Hurricane Season whatever it is they need to live another day in celebration of this life and the lives we have lost.

I told Alixa and Naima (because I believe it) that I feel closer to God when I am with them.  What it is, is I feel more myself, more creative, when I’m with them.  It is a beautiful realization to have while on tour - to see the God in me.

My college friend told me during my Thanksgiving fast that “Coincidences are God’s way of remaining anonymous.”  And what did I see that evening, while using the men’s restroom in some hole in the wall spot in New Orleans but a message written on the towel dispenser that reads: “Here I am, Sorry.”  Okay, God, I’m listening.

So here it is.  We have two more Hurricane Season shows before returning to Brooklyn - Atlanta and Washington DC.  I am sure I will need a new tattoo on my left wrist to represent this journey.  Tattoos have been my way of marking chapters in my life.  Wonder what I’ll get…